Tuesday, November 17, 2009
This as Palm Beach proudly presents it's very own piranha lake of horrors, up in Palm Springs, where two or three red bellied sharp toothed piranhas were recently reeled in. Wildlife officials who are up to their necks with pythons and gators dumped a nuke sized amount of poison into a pond trying to wipe out the fanged little critters. Given their success rate with other reptiles and amphibians we all may want to avoid wiggling toes and jiggly parts in lakes for the next few months...along with avoiding shark toothed attorneys selling Ponzi schemes while buying politician dreams.
So who do you think is busier these days...Wildlife authorities or the FBI?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 02, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 02, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
**Buy a Generator, any generator will do, * a bottle of Light Rum & Fresh Limes & mint *Wine coolers *cat food *dog food *parrot food *toilet paper* South Beach Diet Bars & dinners * the latest DVDs. When your husband comes home with twenty bags of chips and bagels do not let him enter until he eats them all. Make sure you stock up on valium for the dog unless he prefers the rum. Throw out the cans of tuna, no one will eat it , use the five hundred candles & batteries still sitting from last year along with the tons of bottled water never touched.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friday, August 07, 2009
Case in point...a Martin county Jensen Beach man recently arrested for downloading kiddie porn on his computer insists he is innocent. The perv is not him, but his sicko cat who keeps hitting the keyboard, entering child porn sites where this feline freak then continues to download away. Maybe confusing kitty porn with kiddie porn, an understandable mistake, while checking out hot new calico tail pics?
Martin county also just recently was recognized for having the highest underage drinking rate in all of Florida. So beware all you young beer guzzlers, and let this story be a lesson to you....before you too turn into a grown man trying to get your cat to take a felony rap for downloading kittie porn.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
If they're not strangling us then they're eating the local flora, especially hibiscuses.
So for those of you that can hardly wait to get even with them for destroying your landscaped backyards, check out this cook book on how to fry, stew, and even barbecue that iguana running up the palm tree....we are talking about this Iguana Cookbook, sure to become a treasured family recipe book.
And for iguana hunting tips, check out the video (turn off music box at bottom of page first)...my favorite part is where he throws his trophy prize in the ice box, right next to his drink...yum.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Nope, it was a six foot nurse shark left after two men first took him to Garcia's fish market on a bike no less, and then for a last ride on a Metromover train in downtown Miami Tuesday night. Why take a shark out for a night on the town you might ask...well they had high hopes of selling the shark meat to local fisheries at a bargain price of only only ten bucks, reasonable considering it was covered in flies. Alas, no one wanted their reeking fly covered catch of the evening.
Police are now looking for the two idiots that dragged a shark around Miami streets so they can be charged with improper killing, disposal of an animal and trying to sell a shark without a license. As for the shark, local wildlife folks just threw the body back into the ocean... A true tale from HavanaBananaLand. (turn off music box at bottom to listen to video).
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
But Senator Bill Nelsen is not taking any chances. Citing concerns that visitors might actually be gobbled up by giant pythons on an Everglades tour, he is pushing through a bill to ban imports of the snakes. This after a two year old child in Central Florida was recently asphyxiated by a pet python that had escaped it's cage.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
But it wasn't going to be his choice anyway. Weston wasted little time in moving out the black bear, and it looks like Wellington didn't waste a minute either. Wildlife officials although they are quick to point out that black bear attacks in Florida are unheard of, have once again relocated the young male to northern Florida.
The good news is so far no one has been eaten by bears, gators or pythons in South Florida recently. But the bad news is that Florida has a real problem with finding elected & appointed state officials with any sense of ethics.
I have it on good authority that the pythons are heading northward, maybe planning on running for governor's office in the next campaign....guess they heard about all the other snakes we seem to have in the state capitol. Snakes with two feet that is. For just what is Tallahassee doing these days aside from continue to increase property taxes while devaluing homes, hike insurance rates, ensure FPL milks every penny it can from Floridians? Answer is simple. They are doing nothing. This while school enrollment and tourism has signficantly dropped, and too many people are packing their bags to relocate to states they can afford to live.
Pythons might prove a welcome relief.
Mr. Bear, you might want to consider heading for the state line until our state capitol does more than just talk the talk about home affordability. We need the jobs that pay the mortgages, and electric bills that don't rival the mortgage payment.
Most importantly we need a state government that actually works.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Just what Florida needs to bring back tourists to Ft. Lauderdale...the sport of python wrestling. Coming soon on Pay Per View we now have twenty foot pythons weighing in at over 250 pounds as they battle wildlife biologists.
Florida is now training wildlife officials in the fine art of snake wrestling since those megasnakes seem determined to make their way down the into the Keys, no doubt heading for a cold beer at Sloppy Joes.
Apparently a lot of python owners let their cute little wigglies loose once they got big enough to devour the family dog, and now they are growing in numbers so high it's considered an invasion. Kind of like the mortgage brokers that infiltrated South Florida two years ago.
And although pythons are known to prefer wild Key deer, we'll be taking no chances here in Weston...from now on the chubby chihuahua will be taking his leisurely strolls in the backyard only with a body guard.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Keeping right in line with concerns over tourists' fannies would be the deluge of spinner sharks spotted migrating around Singer Island, forcing beaches to
close there, as well as in Palm Beach.
So nudists if you plan on visiting these Florida shores you would be wise not only to keep an eye out for the sharks in the water, but also for the ones that you just might trip over walking down the beach.