Thursday, April 17, 2008

No Balls Tallahassee

Not to worry Floridians, your senators are hard at work in Tallahassee ensuring not only your right to blow away your neighbor and your fellow workers, but protecting your southern sensibilities from offensive truck-nutz.

For those of you not fortunate enough to own a pair, that would be the name given to the giant testicle like things that swing from under trucks, dashboard mirror or wherever it is that they might hang from. Yes sir, Senator Carey Baker, a Republican (of course) from Eustis is determined to ban the offensive trucktickles introducing a bill that tickets drivers who have them.
Before you panic, rest assured Senator Jim King, a Republican (of course) from Jacksonville who proudly boasts he once hung his favorite FSU balls in his own vehicle, will not let this bill go unchallenged.
What a tremendous relief to our entire state. Tallahassee is there for us once again.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Florida aka the Gunshine State

Florida's lawmaker's have decided to turn this into the Gunshine state. It will be up to Crist to sign Take Your Guns to Work bill, and he has already given every indication he will do so.

God help Florida.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Horny Gator Cruises Streets

It's that time of year again. When the sun and humidity makes the natives a little too hot for their own skin. Humans take to tank tops and flip flops, and gators take to the streets of Ft. Lauderdale looking for a lithe gator mate.

At least that's what one 10 foot gator appeared to be prowling for as he stopped traffic in Tamarac this morning as he cruised along State Road 7 and the Turnpike, all 400 pounds of him. Wildlife trappers removed him to a processing plant due to his large size rather than release him back into the club lands of South Florida.

See valuable safety tips in the Native Danger guide above on things one should remember when it comes to gators....such as not keeping one as a pet and seeking medical help if bitten. Glad they cleared that one up.