Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Iguanas Rule

What is it with all the iguana haters down here? It's not like the thorny green lizards are going after our live young for god's sake. If anything should be on the animal hit list it should be the cucarachas (and don't tell me they're just bugs, they're the size of mice down here.)
But no, our official city idiots are now putting iguana worries way ahead of our disappearing population & tourists, the high cost of living, mortgage & rental fraud skyrocketing, not to mention increased crime due to gun violence.
Don't you think that instead of coming up with iguana rules, we should turn our lemons into lemonade? Why not make the best of it by sending our green skinned friends upstate to replace the rather reptilian guard in Tallahassee? We could pay them in flowers instead of our dollars...why think of all the money lobby groups could be saving.
Yes, I do believe, those are the real reptiles we need to be concerned with ousting.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Gator Big Mac

Looking for ways to trim your grocery bill while making sure you get enough protein in these lean economical times? Folks in Florida just need to take out the boats and head west for U.S. 27 where there are more gators than mosquitos.
High in protein & ever so abundant in their growing numbers, gators are being added to the deli counter right next to the boarshead. I can see it now, Gator Picadillo, Gator Meatballs, Fresh Gator Tail Salad....after all, it's only fair we start eating them for a change. Heavens knows they've been feeding off us for years.
Check out this eerie article on unidentified bodies dumped in West Broward & Palm Beach Canals going back to the 1970s...and these are the ones they've found (more or less). No wonder gators aren't afraid of humans anymore, we've been their gourmet delights for a long, long time.

Time to change the game rules?