Saturday, February 19, 2011

Miami Boat Show

If you have a chance, don't miss the Miami International Boat Show  from  February 17-21, 2011. This year's show will be at the Miami Beach Convention Center, Miamarina at Bayside and the Sea Isle Marina & Yatching Center with shuttle buses available. Aside from boats, there are contests, seminars on sailing, fishing, and boating. Attend a Coastal Cruising clinic & learn how to heave to, reef the sails, steer with the sails and crew overboard recovery methods. Improve your rigging skills at the Bait Rigging Station. Watch demos in their Be A Diver Pool & take a scuba lesson. Don't forget to visit the Human Aquarium in the Dive & Travel Harbor which promises a mermaid or two.

Most importantly, make sure you head over to the Marlin Bar where you can seriously ponder your need for that dream jet boat over a few frozen margaritas.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Miami Beach Porn Alive & Well

Henry Flagler would be turning over in his grave to watch & it wouldn't be to glance at his own Flagler Memorial on Monument Island.

This $1 million dollar recently restored island between Venetian & MacArthur complete with a 100 ft obelisk built to honor Flager recently made it's official porn film debut. Beach officials were not thrilled to find out that a porn film called "Island Adventure" had been filmed in the middle of an early February day in one of their very public parks. Whether the filming by the producers Reality Kings broke any laws in not obtaining a permit is now the subject of debate and embarrassment, especially given that Flagler's historically significant obelisk appears as the infamous backdrop in a sex scene.

Just recently city commissioners were trying to stop what they describe as wild debauchery & partying & swinging on the island, and now this film pops up on the internet, sounding not unlike South Beach on any given weekend.

Adult films are no stranger to SoFlo with the 1972 porn classic Deep Throat filmed in a Coconut Grove mansion (although some folks insist it was  really filmed at the Voyager Motel off Biscayne Blvd). Historians fear the film makers might return to the hallowed grounds of Monument Island to film an Island Adventure II, especially with Reality Kings reputed to be major players in what is now a 'booming industry in sun-soaked South Florida'.

Sun, beach, porn ....will bet you visits to Monument island triple in the next few months.


Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Monster Squid in Delray Beach

 Delray Beach when it is not being attacked by 3 ft squid is otherwise known as Village by the Sea. Located just north of Boca Raton in Palm Beach county Delray is a beach town with great galleries, shops, one of a kind boutiques. Delray Beach also attracts visitors with the Delray Beach Tennis Center, the historic Colony Hotel and the annual Delray Beach Garlic Festival. The Pineapple Grove Arts District is located just off Atlantic Avenue in Downtown Delray Beach on NE Second Avenue. It is a traditional downtown main steet with quaint brick sidewalks and gaslight-style street lamps.  Gourmet restaurants, cozy bistros and outdoor cafes in addition to boutiques, gift shops, jewelry stores and art galleries are among its eclectic attractions. Old School Square, at the center of downtown, is a popular venue for the performing arts and seasonal festivals. Downtown's Annual Delray Affair is South Florida's oldest and largest outdoor arts, crafts, and entertainment festival venue.

And now Delray is attacked by giant monstrous squid which by some small miracle did not end up being served in one of those quaint restaurants...

Monday, February 07, 2011

Miami Is Depressed

As if having more foreclosures than the beach has sand isn't Miami has the dubious honor of being rated numero second in Forbes list of Most Miserable Cities.

According to the Misery Index which no one has ever heard of before, Miamians are suffering due to the high unemployment, foreclosures, crime rate, traffic, and corrupt politicians. The only reason Miami didn't make number one was because of the great weather and a lack of state income tax. Last year Miami was only number six, so who knows, maybe next year we'll climb to the very top of the miserable list.

But tonight I'm gonna pour myself a nice cold glass of Pinot Grigio & climb into the backyard jacuzzi where I can happily toast to misery while the sun sets and the palm trees sway.

Friday, February 04, 2011

Plantation Acres Says No to Pigs

Plantation Acres is a beautiful pricey
equestrian community in the city of west Plantation with custom and semi-custom homes going upwards of 3 million. Keep your horse in the backyard, and your car collection in the 10 car garage.  There great schools, nearby Sawgrass Mall, an Equestrian Center, and at neighborhood Volunteer Park there are 85 acres of boardwalks, wetlands, nature trails, and bridle paths. There are also pigs.

Oinkers. Big ones. Feral hogs. Wild boars with tusks capable of goring one to death, now using those tusks to  rout through yards, scavenging for food. A family of hungry pigs can reduce a meticulously landscaped home, golf course, or club grounds to an ugly mound of mud and holes. Not happy about Plantation Acres being a hog's paradise,  homeowners are fighting back using a trapper. Might be a losing battle given their ability to reproduce from as young as 10 months, and produce several litters a year. No wonder they're hungry.

On the positive side perhaps the good people of Plantation Acres need to give some thought as to the potential business revenue of opening a few roadside barbecue huts along Hiatus Road...although my personal preference still remains an excellent tamale with fresh lime.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Monkey Jungle

Dania Beach is not only a quaint village like charming city with a historic art and antique district, great cafes, ice cream shops, pretty white beaches with a great fishing pier, nature trails including a boardwalk over the mangroves... now they've got another claim to fame.

That would be the African monkeys with the long tails and big teeth frequenting the mangroves just north of Dania Beach Boulevard. What are monkeys doing in Dania? Depends who you ask...with answers ranging from the monkeys being left over from a Tarzan movie to a zoo escape back in the 1940s. Once over a hundred monkeys populated the area, now their numbers are around twenty.

So if you happen to be around Motel 6 in the afternoon, head around back with a banana, mango, or lettuce and make some new friends. They'll be waiting.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Miami Tower Still Shines

Beautiful iconic Miami Tower just sold for a ripe 105.5 Million to a Chicago Investment Group. Built back in 1987 the 47-story three glass tier 600,000 square foot building designed by I.M. Pei is well known to locals for it's illuminating evolving palette of color schemes ranging from a Christmas blue with white snowflakes to a perfect pink for Valentine's Day, & a stunning purple Halloween display. Number one priority will be looking for a new tenant with Bank of America now gone. Would work for free just for the views...