Thursday, December 25, 2008

All I Want For Christmas is a Blow Job?

Talk about not getting what you wanted most for Christmas.

At the top of this dude's list was a little oral action but it looks like Santa wasn't in the mood to deliver. Instead this bad boy ended up with a sharp pair of fangs at the end of his favorite banana. No telling how many stitches to put Humpty back together again.

Men cruising Deltona area bars may want to give some serious consideration to committing the mug shot in the article to memory.

Least we forget this is the season, here's an inspirational thought... Those of us not living north of the Palm Beach line should count our blessings. Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia. Amen. Don't forget to read the many truly joyous comments on the link & of course add your own. De nada!

You can see why I simply could not pass this story up. Merry Christmas to you and yours South Florida style.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Noche Buena

For a lot of people Christmas Eve dinner is a standing rib roast or a roast turkey. But this is South Florida and hispanics rule. According to Cuban traditions it is now time for all true Hialeahians to take home the puerco for a traditional Christmas Eve roast.

So plan accordingly, a pig under 100 pounds will cost you $1.20 a pound, larger than that is $1.10 a pound plus the hitman fee. Oh you can get a frozen one but there's nothing like going down to the Cabrera slaughterhouse and have them bag the pig of your choice. After that it's up to you...either roast in a pit or use a Caja China to roast it.

So gather the family, bring out the Bacardi & get blasted just enough to forget that Florida is about the last place on the planet most of us want to be right now. I hear Obama is going to be loosening up regulations on visiting Havana. That or I may have to invest in a good pair of flippers. Felice Navidad y'all.