Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Saving Florida's Manatees One Keg At a Time

Calling all beer bellied abled men in Miami who know how to shake their wicked booties. The Florida Marlins could be looking for you to join their cheerleading squad, the Manatees. The team is looking for ten BIG guys to join ranks, recently holding try outs this past weekend. Oversized guts aside fellas, ya need to be able to tell your left foot from your right, at least to follow a simple dance routine.

Could this be you? Praise Jesus' holy name, finally those naucho nights at Hooters and midnight raids on the Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey may be paying off!

Rumor has it the new team will be paid their weight in kegs of ale, double cheeseburgers, and cheesy fries. Those of you working on your six pack (not the six pack you cart out of the cooler section), or limiting fat grams to 50 a day need not apply.

Only the truly chunky will join ranks of this elite sea cow cheerleading squad as they jump, dance, and roll around during Friday and Saturday Marlin games. Who knows, they might provide more excitement than the Marlins have managed to bring to the game...

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