Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A Night of Flamingo Voyeurism

Glitter Graphics

Who would have ever thought that Flamingoes like to perform in sex shows, or frogs prefer three-ways, and that size does matter in the world of whales.

Happy Valentine's Day and welcome to the Miami Metrozoo's annual Sex and the Animals event. This pre-Valentine's Day lecture is wildly popular, attracting more than 400 people to hear the sleezy tiger porn details.

Amidst mood music from Marvin Gaye and Elton John, glasses of Pinot Grigio, and the warm glow of tiki torches under the romantic half moon, the audience is stirred to blush at the images of crazy tiger and panda sex capades. All up close and personal like on a large projection screen in the zoo's outdoor amphitheater so you don't miss a single erotic moment. There are dozens of animal sex shots in kama sutra positions you might not have thought possible, not to mention titillating pieces of information you really didn't want to know.

For instance, were you even aware that since female pandas have only a three day window in which they can conceive, something zookeepers try to make the most of by helping the pandas to get into the groove by showing them panda porn flicks? I didn't think so.

I would imagine you had no idea that the regal member of a blue whale is an impressive 10 feet. You can bet he doesn't need to go around asking if his jack robinson is big enough for you girl?!!

Of course it is all for a good cause, benefiting the Zoological Society of Florida, offered several times a year. So for a unique Valentine's Day gift your significant other will not soon forget, or anytime you can make a reservation, make your way down (no pun intended) for a night of animal porn at Metrozoo.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What about monkey sex at the zoo?I hear its unreal. Like they say its always happening at the zoo.