Snail Coladas

Adding once again to our favorite South Flo cocktail menu we now have the special family Snail Juice recipe, courtesy of a Hialeah man who uses these illegal 10 inch snails as part of his "El Africano'' or "Oloye Ifatoku" African religion Ifa Orisha, not to be confused with Cuban Santería.

Claiming it can cure a variety of ailments (probably promising male virility no doubt), Mr. Charles Stewart pours snail juice aka snail mucous down the gullets of his patients....so sickening them as to bring it to the attention of the authorities who conducted a snail raid! Turns out he was aided in his snail smuggling efforts by a high priestess who smuggled them in under her dress...a vision possibly more nauseating than the snails themselves....snails that can consume up to 500 species of plants, as well as plaster and stucco.

Authorities are putting out bolos warning South Florida residents to report any sightings of the giant suckers...bet they start to turn up on a few local menus before long.