Disney World Says No to Guns at Work

Well it looks like Mickey Mouse & pals had the balls to say no when our irresponsible legislators and senators lacked the courage to do just that. This no would be Disney's response to the infamous although recent Preservation and Protection of the Right to Keep and Bear Arms in Motor Vehicles Act of 2008, the gun bill that encourages lunatic employees throughout Florida to store their guns in their work vehicles (makes going postal all the more convenient don't you know?)

Disney cited exemption under a clause in the bill due to their use and storage of explosives, which exempts companies from complying with the lunacy bill sponsored by Sen. Durell Peaden who is now having a stroke objecting, "Not Disney...not at all!!"

Don't worry tourists, Disneys zero tolerance for bringing firearms to work will be grounds for termination at most Disney properties not including the Disney Cruise Line parking lots or Vero Beach Resort. On the other hand you may really want to rethink that trip to Sea World where they proudly proclaim supporting employees rights to bring guns to that tourist resort parking lot.

Hats off to Mickey for trying to stop the gun madness that has swept Florida. One can only surmise that the NRA dollars don't seem to sway Disney quite the way they have affected Florida's elected representatives.

Take Your Uzi To Work Day

Living in Florida has just got a little safer. Yes sir, in the state where you can't order lunch at Wendy's without being annihilated by bullets, nor argue with your neighbor over the lawn without being shot dead, now you get to pack your gun for work. Imagine the convenience when your boss tries to fire you. You won't have to wait for the ride home to point your gun at the guy who cuts you off; you can go postal where it really counts!

State representatives, mostly republicans pushed through HB 503 Take Your Gun to Work this week and although Democrats fought, they didn't fight hard enough. Despite concerns voiced by Florida Chamber of Commerce and other business groups, the voice of reason was drowned out by the gun industry's version of the trinity: The Uzi, the Semi, and the Saturday Night Special. You can bet our NRA butt kissing senators and Crist will do their mighty best to lay alms at the gun industry's feet by passing this through as well. The bill gives employees the right to keep the gun in their car as long as they have a concealed permit. Yeah, we all feel better about that.

On the up side, I hear Florida business owners will be able to deduct the cost of bullet proof vests as a justifiable expense.

Tallahassee, you guys got to be on crack.

Tallahassee Toilet Paper Police

Never fear! The Tallahassee Toilet Paper Police Squad is here!

In a state where population growth in South Florida is diminishing due to taxes, crimes, shootings, reduced law enforcement and justice budgets our Florida legislators still manage to remain focused on the more critical issues such as trying to pass laws making toilet paper rolls a requirement in public bathrooms.

Never mind that sanitation guidelines strictly require this, it was not enough for Senator Victor Crista (Republican from Tampa) who had a life changing experience in a restaurant bathroom stall with an empty roll and no soap. Representative Betty Reed (Democrat from Tampa) agreed with him in her unfortunate experience not realizing the roll was empty until it was TOO LATE. Dear God.

Despite their touching stories of personalized trauma, HB 437 went into the shredder. Can you imagine if it hadn't? What would happen to special interest groups as a result? But don't worry lobbyists, your jobs still look secure.

Feel free to send your donated containers of Wet Ones to Betty and Victor, who by now are no doubt working hard on legislation to require bidets in the state capitol.