Hookers On Wheels

Miami Beach undercover police busted a riding brothel on wheels this week after paying the $40. bus fare just to climb on board. After paying for $20.00 lap dances (how many?) and a $125.00 entrance fee to the private curtained VIP section where they were promised the time of their lives, police arrested three prostitutes & assorted friends.

All this as the sleek black cruiser bus rolled down Collins Avenue. Yes, the officers claim they showed their badges and did not remove their clothing, although they did admit to enjoying a vodka with cranberry juice.

For those of you tourists following South Florida market prices, the going price for a blow job on Collins would be $100.



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Florida #2 Gun Runners!

Much to everyone's surprise Florida lost the number one spot in gun exportation to Georgia according to the latest Brady report. Still Florida managed to export 2,328 guns last year to stronger gun control states (that would be about any state but this one), guns that were then used in crimes.

They couldn't have done it without the help of most of our state representatives and legislators, not to mention our governor. So it's no surprise that while most of the nation shows a decrease in crime according to FBI stats, South Florida shows an increase, especially in homicides.

But if this year has been any indication, you all just wait and watch Florida rise to number one Gun runner in the nation come next year given the faithful support of the NRA lobbyists. Tallahassee has deep pockets, and you can bet it's not to hold any of our homegrown oranges either.

Sawgrass Mall Wins!

It's official...Sawgrass Mall, that sacred tourist highlight of many a tour, now ranks as having the highest number of robberies in South Florida. Not only highest, but at a glance easily triple or quadruple other malls.

This gives those of us in Weston have very good reason to warmly welcome our potentially new stomping grounds, The Commons, if it ever gets built. It will be so nice to park and walk into a mall without having to pack one's magnum. Not that I have a magnum. No way would I ruin the shape of one of my purses. But until the city of Weston decides to stop locking horns with Davie over The Commons, I'll have to settle for packing the Chihuahua instead.

Pudgy dogs get can get so mean on an empty stomach that I will have nothing to fear.